Santa Barbara

The next day was a long one, the drive from Williams to Santa Barbara was about 10hrs, made longer when skirting around LA.

We arrived in the evening and headed straight out, we had a few drinks in a billiards bar, then a whisky bar, went for some dinner and then headed to a place called Sharkeez. The rest of the night was interesting but i dont think i should divulge the events on here, so im afraid this night stays in California. It did however involve - A crazy persistant drunk woman, another very drunk and unable to walk woman, a helpful american couple, a police officer, a lone tramp, a group of tramps, a danish guy, a group of irish guys, a random pair of flip flops and lots of alchohol!

And theres no chance anyone is going to be able to piece that one together!

Hoover Dam & Grand Canyon

We left Vegas on the sunday and headed for the grand canyon, a short 8hr drive away. We stopped off at the hoover dam on route. The dam itself was not really anything special its just rather big, as is most stuff in america.

Towards the end of the day we eventually made it to the Grand canyon and drive up to the south rim, peered over into the abyss. Guess what, its big! I pursuaded joe to walk out one edge and i went further round the canyoner to take a picture of him doing a karate kid pose on the edge of the canyon, everyone around me started shouting look look, what is he doing and started to take pictures, Joe instantly became famous! Il upload a photo as soon as im able.

We ended the day staying in a place called Williams at a budget motel, we went for dinner in a place called Jessica's family resturant, which was actually greek and had a russian waitor called Egor, who loved english music and his favourite band was radiohead, his favourite song was creep. He liked us alot.

Vegas, Baby!

Road tripping across the states to Vegas took about 6 hrs due to traffic. We arrived late thursday and checked into the Sahara Hotel and Casino. The rooms are not too badly priced for three of us as they just want you to gamble your savings away.

We got to our rooms and immediatly headed out to the strip to buy some cheap shoes as none of us had any to get into hte clubs with. After purchasing a 10 pound pair of rockport shoes and joe got a shirt aswell, from a store called Ross which is alot like the legendary uk outlet TK Maxx. We started the night with a good game of circle of death and the vodka and gin flowed. We were all feeling the vegas vibe and took a stretch limo down to the main area of the strip. Tangerine club was our first destination in the Treasure island casino (i think). We had VIP passes from our limo driver to get us in without the cover charge. To get good deals on your drinks we were told a few tips as to how to work the barman. Slip him a tenner or something to make sure your good for a few rounds with large shots, however joe accidently tipped him 100 dollars (he thinks) so we ended up pretty damn drunk! We left tangerine and headed for Tao in the Venetian. Everyone went straight in, except me. I was too drunk!?! I asked the bouncer why i wasnt allowed in, the only words he returned was that i was too drunk! The girls we were with then came back out and tried to convince the bouncer to let me in, protesting that everyone was drunk so why was i the only one not allowed in. This fracas ended in them getting escorted out of the club and i wandered off to find the restrooms. The problem with the casino's in vegas is that they are huge. They dont like to let you know where you are either, so there are hardly any signs. I was wandering around the casino floor looking for the exit and eventually found the girls and headed home with them. Rob turned up at around 6 in the morn after being in Harrahs casino with joe, losing him and almost taking a cab to the airport. Joe turned up at around 7 after he'd got lost in Harrah's thinking it was Sahara and trying to find his room on the 16 floor! He gambled away about 100 dollars on roulette and after he'd lost all his money, got told to leave the table.

The next day was a long one full of room service, lounging by the pool and watching films in the room. In the evening we walked around and checked out the other casino's like MGM Grand, tropicana, luxor, NY NY, paris, bellagio,caesars palace, circus circus, flamingo, harrahs and bally's! The fountains at the bellagio are pretty cool as is the exploding volcano at the mirage.

Our final day, i went to the 'Bodies' exhibition to view all the preserved humans and muscles, embryo's and all sorts, its pretty mind blowing if you get the chance to see it, although the diseased fetal embryo's are pretty hard to take. We then all went up to freemont st to checkout the older part of the vegas casino's. In the evening we went to the MGM Grand to have some foor at one of wolfgang pucks resturants and then watched a Cirque du soliel show, which was pretty amazing!

To sum vegas up, 'Vegas is an adults Disneyland!'

LA Again

Okay, the next day i went to book our minivan for our trip to vegas, grand canyon and San Francisco.

Nothing really happened until the evening where our hawaii travelling friends arrived and we hit the oceans 13 premiere. We only made it for when the actors etc were leaving the theatre but we managed to spot and get a few photos of - George Cloony, matt damon, don cheadle, tara reid, shakira, quincy jones, wolfgang puck and probably a load of others that we didnt recognise. However Al Pacino, brad pitt and angelina jolie, didnt leave with the rest they probably snuck off.

The next day we did a tour of LA, first stop the hollywood sign then onto the walk of fame, which we'd already done, then off to Santa Monica and Venice, past hotel california where we stopped for a while to check out the beach front. Next it was off to bel air and beverly hills to peruse the homes of famous people. Here are the ones i can remember - Arnold, nic cage, playboy mansion, mel gibson, madonna, fresh prince house, ellen, forest whittaker, spelling house, guy richie and loads more that i cant remember.

Anyway gotta go feel rough, will post later.

Sunset Strip

Ok, i have a piece of paper in my pocket that notes what we did last night, just in case i forgot stuff, so here goes.

We begin the evening with a lovely $5 pizza from Dominoes, very cheap.

We jump in a taxi and head down Sunset Blvd. Our first drink was in a place called red rocks i think. Then we carried on spotted the Viper rooms, owned by Johnny Depp, also the place where River Phoenix died outside. I thought i saw Ashley Simpson outside, but it totally wasnt. We got in line, but the que was huge and it looked like you needed to be on a guestlist so we headed elsewhere. The next stop was whisky a go go. They had a little battle of the bands going on, only stayed for one drink.

Next was the Roxy, we pay the door fee walk in and find were watching Phantom planet, rastrick goes giddy and we stay for a few drinks, it was possibly the most random thing on our whole trip but funny. We stay for the cheesfest that is California and then head to Rainbow. While in Rainbow rastrick then bumps into Ron Jeremy but he has no camera and doesnt get a photo, rubbish! He comes back even giddier than before, i'd compare his giddyness to a girl who may have just been kissed by a celeb like brad pitt, orlando bloom or whoever does it for you. But after all he did just bump into Ron Jeremy! Me and green continue our beers inside while he then runs back in saying he saw Anthony Kiedis and Travis Barker, im a little sceptical of this one as he is pretty drunk by this point and anyone who remotly resembles someone famous he is going to think is a celeb. Now what we didnt realise at this point is everywhere shuts at 2, we are a little devastated and have to get a taxi home, while stopping at every liquor (cant spell it) store on the way back, exacting our disbelief on the staff!

We return to our hotel, and start drinking with some guys from a death metal band. The drummer was a litte crazy, nice guy but insane. We end up swigging Jack from the bottle and discussing politics in a very sensible manner!?! Rastrick was extremely calm and reserved in trying to get his point accross. As im writing this i dont think i can convey how crazy the night was, but hopefully you can get the jist of it. I hit the sack around 3, straight jack is definitly not my choice of beverage. I think rastrick and green carried on till sunrise, possibly in search of more feminine pursuasions, without success, but i dont know, its 230 in the avo right now and i dont think they'll be up till dusk.

LA

Were here in LA for a good few days so i think this will be the first post of a few. We arrived from Hawaii at around 10 in the evening and took a shuttle straight to Hollywood, skipping through major traffic jams, on the way we had a great view of the smog that covers LA. We got to our hostel and crashed.

The next day we headed to a new hostel and taxi'd down Hollywood Blvd. We dropped our stuff and headed down the road. First stop was the walk of fame, which is all the stars on the floor, not that interesting really, we also stopped off at the kodak theatre and the chinese theatre. Checked out where everyone puts their hands in the concrete and then headed for the Hollywood museum. In the basement is the exact corridor and cell used for hannibal lecter in the silence of the lambs, its pretty eirie. I sneaked a photo on my phone, as we were not allowed cameras in there, i'l post it asap. The museum also contains loads of memorabilia from Indiana jones, the mummy, death on the nile, planet of the apes and loads others. It was run by an old woman who'd had far too much plastic surgery and a Michael jackson style nose! In the evening we headed to the pig and whistle for dinner.

LA so far is a wierd place, but its never boring. From the countless people dressed up as film characters to the insane homeless who appear to be talking to everyone and no-one at the same time. Often shouting profanities and being racist. Everything is about the movies, absoloutly everything, but thats just hollywood. We head to venice and Santa monica tomorrow.

Yesterday we got up and went to Universal studios to do some more touristy stuff. First we went on the studio and backlot tour. Heading around the sound stages currently in use for CSI and NAtional Treasure 2, then onto the city backlots, used for back to the future, bruce almighty, spiderman and just about every city scene in a universal film. Next it was off to Wisteria Lane, which we didnt even know was here, crusied pass, i think the names are, Susan and Gabriels houses and the rest of the street, rastrick was loving it, cant believe he watches that program, but anywho. Next was off to the plane crash site in war of the worlds which was pretty amazing and looked exactly like the film did. After that the bates motel and house from phsyco. Also the areas for king kong, jaws and the mummy aswell. At the end we went pass a set in creation for national treasure 2.

After the tour we went on all the rides/attractions, back to the future, the mummy, jurassic park, T2 and finally waterworld, which was by far the best, got some good photos aswell. We also walked through the house of horrors, which is like a ghost house but worse because it has real people in there ready to jump out on you and its almost pitch black the whole way around, the mummy got me, scared the crap out of me, green got got by the mummy, dracula, the werewolf and the hunchback, i think they were picking on him, leatherface got rastrick and almost hit me on the head with his chainsaw. The interesting part was walking through a room with bodies hanging from the cieling in clear body bags and you have to push your way through. There was a sign at the entrance that said 'May be too intense for children'!

The evening was a bit mad. I think it deserves its own post.

Hawaii

Finally a part of the trip i'd been most looking forward to. We flew from Nadi with a quick stop off at Christmas island to Honolulu. Andy Irons was sat two seats in front of us. To anyone who doesnt know, simply put, he is a three times world surfing champion, pretty much Kelly Slaters biggest rival. He looked pretty beat up with some butterfly stiches under his eye, girlfriend was very attractive.

We aeeived in Honolulu and hired a car and headed straight for the North Shore, our beach shack was directly opposite the beach and just up the road from Wiamia Bay.

The first day we headed to Banzai Pipeline and chilled on the beach, the waves are dramatically smaller out here in the summer, a little dissapointing. On our second day we did however surf Sunset Beach and dont know the exact break but its just up the road from pipeline. We hired some boards from a guy who has taught Sunny Garcia and Mark Ochi and other famous surfers of which i cant remember. His name was Ryan Surat i think. The break was about 50m out and we are totally unfit at the mo so we didnt catch too many waves but they are great to ride as at this break they dont jeck up on you, its a very smooth ride, although its only about 3m deep water and if you dropped off the top you'd get worked on the rocks, rastrick had a few scratches, i got swept into the boneyard at one point named so for the shallow water but quickly paddled out.

The next day we headed to Waimea bay to jump of a massive rock and chill with some girls we met at our cabin. The rock was about 8m high and stung my feet when jumping in, got a good video of green and joe jumping in. Wiamea has had pretty much no waves since weve been here but in the winter they have a competition that only runs once the waves are above 25ft!!

On our final day we went to Pearl Harbour to check out the memorial floating on top of one of the sunken ships, its pretty wierd as you can still see the gun turrets poking out of the water. Finally we headed to Waikiki to see where all the city goers hang out. On our final day we just watched the crowds of surfers at pipeline as it was about 6ft and great conditions. Pretty much everyone one on the north shore surfs and thats all they do, the kids dont even seem to go to school. Everybody there is tanned and ripped, we felt very out of place with our english beer belly's. But at least me and rastrick are tanned!

Fiji

We had managed to check every flight so far but for this one we forgot. We arrived at the airport at 6 in the morn after getting up at 4 to find our flight had been changed to 230 in the afternoon. poo! We slept in the terminal for most of the time, i mostly ate.

After the short flight we arrived at Nadi and headed for a backpackers on the beach, Fiji is alot like Africa, at least the part of Africa ive been to.

The next day we headed out to Mana island for two nights of island paradise. There is not much on the islands apart from deserted beaches and shacks, we pretty much didnt do anything for 3 days, we did watch the sevens with all the islanders, but Fiji lost, no party!

Auckland

Ok, time to catch up again were actually in LA right now after being in Fiji and Hawaii with no internet, weve just come off our 6hr flight its late and im typing this on a keyboard with only 15 visible letters on the keys, so here goes.

We drove into Auckland and found a tiny and hidden campsite in a suburb and then parked up, cooked dinner, cant remember what it was probably some culinary delight, then headed out to watch the state of origin rugby league game between Queensland Reds and NSW, Queensland won, after we hit the sack.

We were all sick of the camper so we took it back a day early, joe did his last duty as toilet boy and we drove back to the drop off, then caught a taxi to the yha in the centre. The avo consisted of watching Pirates of the Carribean 3. The evening was heavy, we started and pretty much finished at a place called globe bar, first of all playing pool with some crazy hicks and then after a few more beers, bantering with the local Maori's of which one the size of a house decided to it would be funny to slap me on the back, it hurt! But he was lucky i was in a good mood... otherwise.... i would have hid under a table, there were about 10 of them! At the end of the night i rolled in at about 5, we all got separated, i have no idea when green got back and rastrick came in as the sun rose, we only know this as he has photos on his camera, of daylight, but he doesnt remember taking them.

The final day was spent mostly sleeping and hurting before our flight in the morning.

Corramandel

Our penultimate stop was at a place called Corramendel. Its basically an old mining town and heavy on fishing, we joined some old fishermen for some beers in the local hotel and the next day headed to a hot water beach, where you can sit in the sand and its on the surface of boiling water, rastrick burnt his back.

Tauranga

A little drive away we stopped at Touranga to see Mt Maunganui and the coast line, very picturesque but there not much to do apart from fly in a helicopter to a live volcano, which we wanted to do but at 700 bucks we decided against it.

Matamata

After Rotarua we headed for Hobbiton. We thought as we were in NZ and Hobbiton is the only piece of set in the whole country left we thought we'd better visit it, as it may not be there for much longer if the film company get pissy.

Its totally overpriced but its still cool it go where the film was made. The holes are quite old looking now, the tree and lake is prob the most recognisable part along with bag end. The owners of the land are not allowed to do anything to the holes. The film company gave them a really shitty contract whereas they can only show people the site and not touch or change anything. They are not even allowed to plant wild flowers as there are wild flowers in the film. Its safe to say that as soon as i get back im going to watch all the films to spot the locations we have seen. Its a little sad but its such a huge thing over here. People have even proposed at the entrance to bag end.

Rotarua

After Taupo we drove onto Rotarua. On the back of a pretty bad hangover we headed for a extreme entertainment park. Its pretty much what everyone doees in NZ, apart from a few other atrractions. Rastrick went all out. First he Zorbed because he didnt get to do it in Oz. Then it was onto the bunjy swoop which looked pretty fun, finally the extreme freefall, where you get held up by a huge fan.

Later we headed to a hot spring by a river, pointed out to us by a local for a dip.

The next day it was time for white water sledging. Basically going where all the people in the rafts go but we just have a plastic sledge to keep us afloat. Needless to say its bloody tiring. I got trapped in one rapid and i could barley breath afterwards. You basically have to swim away from any rapids if you get caught. You also have to duck dive after going down them otherwise you get stuck aswell. The best part is where you swim upstream back into a rapid and surf on it, doing tricks and stupid stuff that the instructors showed us how to do. Its pretty good fun, but youve got to be fit to do it. Our legs were like jelly afterwards and the intructors still had two more runs to do after ours!

Taupo

Heading on from Napier we hit Taupo, withing 20mins of arriving me and green were headed off to the airport to do our skydive while rastrick stayed in town. Upon arrival we got booked in and then they kindly showed us a dvd of a jump, as if we werent nervious enough already. After the dvd we got suited and got introduced to our foreign and insane tandem masters! Into our stupid looking dive outfits and they began to film us for our dvd's. We climb into the plane, a strange pink flimsy looking thing and then took off. We are all squeezed in the hold of this plane practically sitting on each other while the masters are going whooo and yeeeahh, and we just say uuuhhhh yeahhh, whoo. Green was first to jump and as the door slid open as 12000ft and he edged towards it his eyes bulged intensly, the plane banked and he drops out just like that. Im next and i get edged towards the door, seriously heavy breathing going on, im hanging out the plane, then we drop! I dont remember the first few seconds of tumbling. only when we are freefalling my master taps me on the shoulder and we outspread our arms and begin to look around. I can see Mt Doom from LOTR, Taupo lake and just about 100miles in all directions. Eventually the parachute opens and we cruise liesurely back to the airport. My legs were pretty shaky afterwards but im pretty sure im not going to forget that experience!

That evening we celebrated with some beers and i cant remember the rest.

The next day we headed off for some jet boating and a walk around a thermal park. Was pretty stinky stuff, the bioling mud pools were pretty cool, seriously hot water. You can get the jist from the photos, the return journey in the boat waas a bit insane with the driver doing 360 spins in 5 inches of water and at about 50mph.

Wellington

We took the ferry from Picton to Wellington and had a wander round town. Then drove up to Mt Victoria and went in search of the Hobbits.

We eventually found the route down to the film location. It is pretty impossible to spot, luckily we had a basic guide pointing us in the right direction. The locations look nothing like they do in the film a little dissapointing but, it is a national park after all.

The other locations just outside of Wellington were a bit similar to the film however a local WETA guide told us that Peter Jackson, took the ground from one area a tree from another, mountains from the south isalnd and then worked it all together with a bridge that was 2inches tall. It makes trying to remember the scens a little difficult.

After Wellington we journeyed on to a place called Napier.

Blenhiem

We also routed via Blenhiem to do some wine tasting and purchase some quality wine at a reasonable price. The first time i've ever drunk wine that cost more than a fiver. The sunset that evening was a blood red, pictures with the tree and rock are from that night.

We cooked a chilli and had our wine, the wine was very tasty with a hint of passfruit about it, the downside, it tastes just like the five pound bottles back home after the third glass.

Greymouth

On route up to Picton to get the ferry to the north island we stopped at Greymouth, there is nothing to do there!

Fox Glacier

After Queenstown we headed over the crown range to Fox glacier. At the top of crown range was probably the best view ive ever seen, ive got it photographed in a panorama so cant upload it. Green and Rastrick were asleep in the van at the time, it was of course very early in the morning at 11 o clock. The drive took us up a mountain range along the flats and into the rainforest. NZ has the most diverse landscape in the world. After driving through torrential rain and fog we arrived at Fox Glacier. The area around fox has a rainfall of 10m per year and on average it rains for 200 days a year. The day of our walk it was sunny!

We headed up the mountain with our bearded guide, we asked him if he'd ever walked any other glaciers, he said no, this is just a job, we asked what his main proffession was, he replied a Hunter!?!

The walk was quite tough up 500m through a rainforest, also the only place in the world where glaciers meet rainforests. The glacier itself was pretty cold but easy to climb, it was not full of crevices as it doesnt form like that, it is also growing longer and in the last 15 months has grown by 80ft.

Queenstown

Our dirve down to Queenstown rivals the best drive ive ever had, weaving through mountains and foothills, expecting to see the 'tricksy little hobbitsis' at every corner. We passed numerous large lakes and got a glimpse of Mt Cook, NZ largest mountain. On our wat down our road map points out all the filming locations for Lord of the Rings, however to get to most you have to take a 4wd car or a helicopter, the views are amazing nonetheless.

Upon arrival in Queenstown rob and joe went straight off to do their bunjy jump. 43m from a bridge, heralded as the first bunjy ever, im a little jealous of not doing it but if you stand and watch you'll see why.

Elated after their jump we drove into town and headed for our camp spot. Then we took a gondala up to the top of the mountain for some scenic views and finally ended the evening in an ice bar at -8 degrees drinking a polar bear cocktail.

Christchurch

We flew in NZ without any problems, picked up our camper and went for a quick tour of Christchurch. Checked out the centre and the botanical gardens and got very dissapointed that the crusaders bulls super 14 game was in SA and not NZ. New Zealand is a flying visit for us and each post will probably be very small as we only stay in each place for around a day.

We got underway with our 6hr drive to queenstown in the evening and camped outside a place called Ashburton. NZ is very much like the UK, however with a grand population of Bristol its a bit sparse. Id say the biggest city is prob the size of plymouth, if not smaller.

Sydney

After our long bus ride down from the surf camp we managed to get to Sydney, over the harbour bridge and into the centre via a quick tour and visit to Kings Cross.

Got on the phone to Sarah and she toured us down to a place called Darling Harbour for a great drinking spot but rather on the expensive side for backpackers. The rest of the night was straight forward, beers until dawn. We also met up with a guy called dave who was going to be on our flight to NZ and ended up staying in our dorm too. Dave was a great lad the only problem was he snored like a trooper, and i had to sleep above him, the bed was vibrating from his nostril power.

The next day we headed over to Manly for a look around and chilled on the beach most of the day, hired some boards and got destroyed in mammoth surf, its not that the waves were so big you couldnt surf them, but as they came in they just jacked right up out of the water and every time we tried to pop up, pretty much just got thrown off. At first we thought its probably because were not that good, but then we saw guys with fun boards and they were having just as much trouble as us. We only manged about 45mins in the water and then got out bruised and beaten.

The following day we had a trip to the blue mountains, however they werent blue and to be honest we cudnt even see most of them, as the fog was unbelieveable. Australia being hot all year round is a myth. We did a few hikes and by midday the skies cleared and we could see the rock formation of the three sisters and some huge waterfalls. We took a cable car back up the mountain and it was a little sketchy. Nothing strapped you in and it was about a 25 degree slope. Rastrick decided to hang his feet out the bottom of the car, suddenly we climbed even steeper, it was safe to say he got scared and quickly reeled his limbs back in.

That evening we headed to Kings Cross to party with the pimps, hoes and pushers. Was a pretty good night, spent at a place called World Bar drinking Long island ice tea out of tea pots, no idea why! On the return journey i almost got in the mix of some guys getting chucked out, then a taxi pulled up with a guy covered in blood, he jumped out and proceeded to wipe blood on the front of the taxi and shout "I call the police", in a foreign accent, then ran off, while the taxi driver shouts " I'l call the fucking police!". Also spotted some working girls, and some guy try and get some business!?!

The next day we did a walk from Coogee to Bondi and checked out the beaches and surfers. Some guy got his board smashed up just as we came along so i quickly snapped a shot. Had a quick swim at Bondi, while trying to avoid the floating rubbish everywhere.

In the evening me and Sarah went for a bit of a walking tour up and over the harbour bridge and down to the opera house before we said cheereo.

Surf Camp

After Byron we headed to a little place called spot X for a surf lesson and about 2hrs surfing. I thought it was going to be terrible as the waves looked shite but i was pleasantly surprised, caught a few nice clean breaks, also took a few brutal nose dives when i got up too late, but it was probably the best surf ive had out here so far.

Later on while playing a game of table tennis I leant over to pick up the ball, and from my nose gushed what seemed like a cupful of sea water. This was about an hr after surfing. I knew id cleaned out my sinuses in one wave but I didnt realise i'd kept some water behind. That was a first for me after surfing. The next day we headed for Sydney. Only 4 days until NZ, we've heard its very cold and snowing, i only have one jumper, and today is the first time ive worn trousers in 8wks, the cold is going to hurt!

Byron Bay

After Brisbane we headed for Byron while picking rastrick up on route. We also had a quick stop off to do some hydro zorbing. 3 people jump in the ball full of water and then roll down a hill. ITs pretty good fun however it lasts all of 10 seconds and cost us 20 bucks. Its possibly the most expensive entertainment for the shortest amount of time, definitly recommend it though. I just ended up being sat on by a chick the whole way down as you cant really move, as its too slippery.

We got to Surfers pretty late and hit a ton of traffic heading down to Byron, the driver a guy called Glen couldnt believe we have to deal with similar traffic everyday. The town where he came from didnt have traffic lights for over 100k around.

We arrived in Byron late, got checked in and headed straight out to meet up with another one of greens friends. We drank at his hostel then headed to a place called Cheeky Monkeys. Its pretty much like any huge student night while your at uni but this ones full of backpackers. After the bar we went to the beach with a guitar till around 530 and then stumbled home.

The next day was spent sleeping mostly and then in the evening we watched Scoop, the film by Woody Allen, its not too bad but a bit wierd and quirky.

The next day was Nimbin Mardi Grass. No its not a typo, Mardi Grass is Australia's national weed smoking festival and it only happens in a small town called Nimbin. IT has a bit of a legendary status along the coast. Annually the whole town gets together to celebrate the fact that they a dependant on Marujuana as their main income. To say the least its a very strange place. They have bands playing and even have the hemp olympics where you have to see how far you can throw a bong!?! The town is mostly full of hippies and old people but every year crowds draw for the festival and the highlight the Pro-legalisation march. The whole town march down the street all dressed up, the were the weed dancers and people with banners, about 30 people carrying a massive joint and at the back was captain reefer, a proud weed preacher. At the end everyone else joins the march and walks down to a field for a few talks from the organisers. Dissapointly we missed the joint rolling finals in the town hall as we had to leave! Nimbin is a very odd place. I will try and post the photos asap as i had a great spot at the front of the crowd.

Brisbane

Catchup time. We left Rainbow beach for Brisbane. Arrived about 3 and were booked into the Castlemaine brewery tour for 4. Quick change and we caught the tube to the brewery. The tour was relatively boring apart from seeing the brewery in action as its still working, there was major wastage on the amount of smashed bottles going along the production line. The highlight was obviously the 4 beers we received on exiting the tour! However everything is all wrong with beer over here. The weaker castlemaine aka 4x is called gold then the stronger is called bitter and then a further strength was called sparkling, very odd.

After the tour we met up with greens mates Matt and Jordan. We ended up going to Jordans place to be fed lamb and steaks while drinking on his balcaony playing pool overlooking story bridge. Pretty cushy place seeing as he pays no rent!

The next day we went to Australia Zoo. The home of the late Steve Irwin. We were privaleged enough to watch his life story on the coach going there, it was great!?! You do get to walk around with kangaroos and stroke koala's, even hold one if you want to pay, we fed the elephants and then watched the croc show, where a large croc called Murray was the choice for the handler to parade round with a big slab of meat. The zoo has images of Steve Irwin everywhere. We even signed the memorial. On the return leg we got to watch the tribute to Steve'o that was even better!?! The bus driver was very fond of him.

The next day rastrick left us to go to surfers paradise, whereas we could'nt be bothered to pay for a bus. Me and green checked out the shops and then watched Spiderman 3 in the evening. The biggest cheese fest ever made!

"I didnt want things to be like this!" - so why did you go around killing people for 2 and a half hours!

Fraser Island

The following day we were up early and started packing up our 4wd Toyota Landcruiser for extreme sandy conditions.

The girl helping us didnt really know what to do so we improvised with how everything should pack together and got it right when the guy in charge came round. I was the first designated driver and we all set off on a convoy to the barge. Once on Fraser we set off at high speed heading up the island trying to beat the tide as you cannot drive at certain times. Driving on sand was relativily easy although some people in our group could not grasp it. I drove all the way up to a place called Eli creek where we stopped for lunch and a little dip then continued on to the Maheno ship wreck. Finally we set up camp a little further north and began drowing our goon and beers. The strange thing about Fraser and Oz is that it feels like summer but it gets dark by 6. So on our first night we were all plastered and ready for bed by 10, nightmare! I slept in the van as i couldnt be bothered to sleep in a tent and its a good thing i did as when moring came we had a huge thunderstorm and everything got soaked.

Indian Head was our first destination to try and spot some sharks but we were unsucessful, just a few large shadows. After that we headed to lake Mackenzie for a dip in tea tree filled waters. After an hour of serious 4wd we made it all shaken and groggy. We swam and saoked in the revitalising waters and then left to set up camp, after the hour return journey from the lake. This time we started drinking later, but i got screwed on goon and felt like shite, i think we made it to 1230 this time though.

In the moring we went to lake Wabby, which is surrounded by huge sand dunes, me and Rasta borrowed someones bodyboard and went down a track they had made, with a little ramp at the end. Rastrick went down no problem, and skidded along the water. I however decided to take running leap and flew down a little skewif and hit the ramp at high speed, i proceeded to fly through the air however i became aware that i had left the board behind, so ended up doing a flip into the water while the board slowly skidded along the surface, i reckon it looked awesome from the top though!

On our return we noticed a nasty crack in the windshield, we got stung for 250 bucks when we got back to the garage and we dont even know how it got there. We didnt have many bad sand moments, we got stuck twice in the sand but managed to quickly get out before we dug ourselves in too deep, unlike one van we passed so deep they were trying to dig out the axles themselves.

4wd on Fraser and sailing the Whitsundays are the best things we have done so far in Oz, at the moment we are in Brisbane, but that post is for another time.

Rainbow Beach

After Kroombit we had a long drive into Rainbow Beach. On the way we also discovered that our hostel had screwed up our 4wd package for Fraser and declared us no shows even though we told them we would arrive by 530 and when we were going to be later we phoned and told them. So we arrived pissed off and got booked into the hostel who were meant to be supplying our Fraser trip. They now said we could not go until Sunday, maybe. So we packed our stuff up the next day and went next door to get our trip done with another hostel. They let us go on Sat and didnt charge us any extra cash.

The day was spent catching our first surf breaks of Australia. The waves were clean 3-4ft and surprisingly powerful.

Kroombit

Whilst driving down to Rainbow Beach for our trip to Fraser Island we had an overnight stop at a cattle ranch in inland Oz. We proceeded down a dusty and bumpy road for about an hour before we reached lots of wooden looking buildings.

We booked in and were led to what seemed like converted barns to sleep in. They still had the double style top and bottom door to access the rooms. The evening was spent learning how to crack whips and riding a mechanical bull. I was rubbish at both, but mainly because jumped off the bull before I castrated myself. I saw no need to bruise my genitals so i bailed. While rastrick on the other hand decided to stay on for about 8 bucks all the shile screaming in agony, and i have it on video!

In the morning super tourist Joe went off at 6 in the morn to round up goats on horseback for the rodeo later that day. He was the only person of about 40 who voluntered as it cost 40 bucks! The rest of us went for a walk up the nearby hills whilst looking for black widows. The bush is so large out there that a plane crashed 50 years ago and they have only just found it.

After our walk we got to go clay pidgeon shooting with a 12 bore shotgun. I only managed to hit 2 our of 5. It turned out our skills actually lay at the goat rodeo. Where 3 people go into a ring and catch a goat, tip it up and then brand it. The cowboys on the ranch did a demo in 15 sec. We managed 17 seconds!

Airlie Beach

After getting a little stuck on Magnetic Island we headed off on our 2nd Oz bus to Airlie Beach. Our driver named Pistol Pete was quiet and recovering from a hangover we preferred this to the previous driver Diesel, who's incessant use of the word awesome and favourite saying "cool bananas, no dramas", had scarred us.


We went straight though to Airlie, seven guys on a 52 seater coach!?! Watched Borat on route and arrived early evening. That nights entertainment was Jelly Wrestling. About 10 women from different countries went at it in a jelly pit trying to rip off bands from each other for a prize of 500 bucks. It was strange to watch especially when the aussie girls were practically beating each other up for the money. However it was pretty funny.

The next day was our venture onto the Whitsundays and sailing around the islands. We departed at 430 and vegan introducing ourselves to all the passangers, we had Italians, germans, english, dutch, canadian, israely and a belgian all on our boat, we lucked out though as everyone was easy to get along with, and the best thing was i didnt get seasick!!

Our first destination was blue pearl bay, where we moored and were all at awe by being right next to Ivana Trumps million dollar yacht 'Grand Finale'. We thought about taking the dingy over to say hi but decided the party was better on our boat. Beer and goon was consumed late into the night. (GOON - the aussie nickname for very cheap and disgusting tasting wine) In the morning with everyone suffering from a nasty goonover we headed for a dive in the bay. Me and rastrick buddied up and heading off along the reef. The visibility is no where near as good as Thailand but we did find a cool empty clamshell.

After this we began sailing again and headed around to a place called whitehave and it is possibly the most idylic white sand beach i have ever seen. Sting rays and sharks swam in the waters but none of them will harm you, unless youstep on them.

That evening we continued on the beer and goon escapades, included this time were german drinking games and a whitsundays races card game run by the loudest yorkshireman ever known. The next morning we headed to another bay to do some snorkeling, the whole time weve been snorkelling around the whitsundays weve had to wear stinger suits as there are two types of deadly jellyfish. While snorkelling this time i got a sharp electric like shock to my lip, jellyfish sting! At first i started to have a brown stinger suit moment, then realised that the pain had gone and i was fine! It was also at this point that the load yorkshireman spotted a 2m shark come out of a cloud of sand, the only words that came out of his mouth for the next hr were expletives. Green missed this little trip as his Goonover was too bad!

In the evening we sailed back and all met up in a bar called Reefo's, drinking with the crew and captain into the wee hours.

Magnetic Island

The next morning was an early one again, onto our oz bus and headed south down the coast. We had a loudmouth aussie female driver, who had to put awesome into every scentence and loved speaking on the microphone almost the whole trip - no sleeping was done.

We did stop at a quality croc farm where the Steve Irwin imposter jumped onto the bus with croc in hand to try and scare us, most people were too tired to notice. THe highlight was seeing a rather large aussie name mick sitting on one of the biggest crocs ever seen in Queensland. We also got to hold a small crocodile who insisted on crapping when the trainer grabbed hold of him.

We continued on to a place called magnetic island, which is a very idylic island of a place called townsville. The island is beautiful however there is not alot to do. We did however for some strange reason decide to trak all the way round a cove climbing on the rocks, some of which were a little on the dogdy side, and the nthe tide started coming in. You hear these horror stories of people being trapped on rocks while the tide comes in, i knew i was fine, cos i have a phone, but it was still a bit on the crazy side, especially when wh had to jump from rock to rock avoiding incoming waves and dodge overhanging spider webs with quite nasty looking critters in them. We finally arrived at the next bay pretty much too tired to do anything. The evening involved drinking overpriced pitchers and wathcing cane toad racing. Where an overweight aussie pensioner yelled out strange words and gathered peoples money for betting on the races. It takes about 30min to get bets for the 8 toads and the race takes on average about 10sec. Another backwards aussie tradition i think.

The next day we headed to the old WW2 forts on the island, it took ages to get there and by the time we did it was getting dark but we trudged on hoping to catch the sunset from the top of the lookout tower. After winding up and up, keeping our eyes out for koala's, wallaby's, spiders and the deadly death adder, we arrived at the top just as the sun had dropped behind the horizon. The comms tower and lookout tower were the main remains and they were rather creepy at night, we were lucky we'd remembered torches as the return journey would have been impossible without them. We scarpered back walking through countless spiderwebs and tripping out at the slightest rustles in the bushes, usually behind us.

Tomorrow we head for Airlie Beach and a two day sailing trip on the Whitsundays, i really hope my stomach is up to this one, prob going to have to lay off the VB.

Cairns

Our first impressions of Cairns was of utter dismay, the place was dead, we had heard about all this crazy backpacker scene in oz, but this place was so quiet it was unreal. It was possibly because we arrived on a sunday and early in the morning but that was not the case. Our first day was spent mostly sleeping, to recover from our all night flying, without a single film on the plane, very dissapointed!!

However in the evening we found where everyone had been hiding the one lively bar in the city called the Woolshed. It seemed that just about every backpacker in Cairns was there and it made for a good night. We met up with one of Robs friends and his travelling companions to drink into the wee hours, a very stupid idea for me seeing as we were diving the next day on what we didnt know at the time was the fastest and roughest boat ride ever. The highlights of the evening were the goldfish races and the first decent western meal we'd had for 5 wks, I ate steak!!

The following day we had to be up at 730 to go diving, i had a muzzy head but otherwise felt fine, but as soon as the boat got up to speed, the day took a turn for the worse. 4 times was my agonising tally of hurling up a technicolour rainbow before we reached the reef. I had puked so hard my stomach muscles were killing and i cudnt do the first dive, great, id just spent over $150 to throw up all day. I did manage to do one dive, which i guess made it worthwhile but it wasnt the most enjoyable dive, did see a huge moray eel though. The return journey held just one instance of yawning. The rest of the day was spent sleeping agian.

Our final day in Cairns involved sunning by the lagoon on the beachfront for a few hours followed by a trip to the cinema to see TMNT, its a bit kiddie but i enjoyed it. CGI is amazing though far better than that Toy Story stuff.

On Route To Cairns

This needs its very own post as its so special. This also enhances why we have begun to call Joseph Michael David Rastrick - Special Fried Rice.

Firstly we head out of Singapore to the airport via the underground, we reach the airport and me and green get our bags checked in, meanwhile there appears to be something wrong with rastricks passport, we are both chekced in fine but the airport people begin to call other staff over and we start to get nervous. The passport is being checked over again and again. We begin to try and work out what we are going to do if rastrick cant fly, where we will meet etc, rastrick thinks he's going to be detained for sending fake rolex's back home, which warrants a $5000 fine.

I was planning to give him my map of Singapore and say cheeryo, we'll see you in Oz sometime, then they finally tell us the problem, special fried rice had paid and ordered his oz visa on one passport and then decided he needed a new passport also meaning he has a new passport number!

All worrying over he had to pay again ot get a visa there and then before the flight.

Thats the end of his troubles, on passing through security checks, the stupid lady doesnt think i look like my passport photo which is true, i had the photo done when i was about 16. So green and joe begin laughing and so do i. She continues to ask me my own name in a very questioning manner and i can barely hear her, so i look more confused and sketchy, she asks me to take my hat off, but i now have the longest hair ive ever had and still look nohting like i did back then, i asked her what she would like me to do to look more like myself, but all she could come up with was to have a shave. I had also just finished reading Mr Nice, so had terrbile thoughts of being detained and frisked by customs, very dodgy, luckily id already sent any thai and malaysian things that are not really allowed to be brought through customs. Finally she waved me through!

This was not the end of it. We ahd a hour stopover in Darwin, we get off the plain and im the only one to get a random frisk search by a large beer bellied aussie, in the meantime when we go to get back on the plane, special has lost his boarding card, but they let him straight on anyway, what was the point of the boarding card, i dont know?

Finally we arrive in Cairns to be greeted very nicely by the customs people, first line of questioning, all th usual stuff, show your passport walk through, i get a second line of questioning, "all fine carry on sir", next we get to a set of baggage checks, now in the uk after you get you bag your free to go, but in oz thats when you get a complete baggage search, great, so another line of questioning all your stuff is taken out of your bags, all medicines and liquids checked, all clothes thrown around. What they think i managed to put in my bag while it was in the hold of the plane, who knows? Finally after the sucession of 'nazi' checks we get allowed into Australia. And i thought this country was laid back?!?

The Australian side of customs was actually more stringent and abusive to ones self than the Singapore side and in Singapore you get the death penalty for drug trafficking!!

Singapore

Singapore is a lovely city, clean, metropolitan and with plenty of things to do, the downside is its freakin expensive, and the have a fine for just about everything but there are no police to enforce them, very strange.

The first day we did a walking tour of the city taking in all the tourist things like statues and buildings. There are loads of cool skyscrapers, mostly banks. We saw Mr Raffles himself, the founder of Singapore and also the spiky topped opera house. The evening was interesting we started out with a $50 all you can eat Indian with beer included. We managed to make it to four courses of indian food, prob the best ive ever tasted. We then watched the highlights of the Man U Vs. Roma game on the riverfront.

We then proceeded to a kareoke bar again, for some pool and top draw singing from us and a load of Singaporeans. I think we got through - 3 doors down-kryptonite, linkin park-In the End, the dirty dancing tune-Ive had the time of my life, A meatloaf song i think, Robbie Williams-Betterman and im sure some others I cant remember, I think we could have gone all night. The next stop was a bar to watch the Liverpool game but by this time i'd was toast and retired at bout 330 in the morn, Rastrick and Green returned at 7am after having played winner stays on pool for 2 hrs and not losing once to the locals (Green that is).

The next day we went to Sentosa island at around 4 in the avo after Green finally arose. We went to a Dolphin show, which was pretty cool, seeing a dolphin jump and 10ft out of the water. Next was Underwater World on the travellator to view crazy fish and the highlight was prob the sharks swimming over your head as you travel along in a glass tube. Finally we sceptically went to a kiddies laser show and act which turned out ok, with huge jets of water and flame explosions and fireworks at the end of a singing dancing stage show.

The evening was rounded of at Raffles hotels Long bar for a legendary Singapore Sling, which is just a fancy cocktail and i mean fancy, at 8 pounds a go we werent tempted with more than one, although they are pretty tasty.

Our 3rd day involved heading to a waterpark in the morning and riding the waves in the Tsunami pool, a bit distastefully named! Also a ride called the Samsung Slide-up was interesting as you launched of the water slide in a float you basically shot up the other side and then back down, basically like a half pipe death slide on water!

In the evening we went to the night safari, where you get toured around on a tram, looking at nocturnal animals and the like, the best part was prob walking through a large bat cage with the bats and then actually spotting one, and realising they are about 2ft tall and have a wingspan of around a metre and a half, at least thats what it looked like.

Our final day me and Green watched Sunshine at the cinema while Joe went off on his tod to a desterted island, the results were confirmed, there was nothing there!

Kuala Lumpur

After taking the night train from nearby Penang we arrived ni KL at about 830 and by 1030 we dropped off our bags and were headed to the Malaysian Grand Prix, we didnt even know it was on till we arrived. Bundled into a taxi we shot off, arrived at the track an hour and half later and tried to get some tickets. We got peasant prices tickets with the rest of the Indians and Malaysians for 50 rinngit, which is about 10 quid. Bargian compared to Silverstone. We posed with a spark plug girl and then headed to our hill to watch the race.

I was not expecting to enjoy it but tehe adrenaline surge when the start went, bearing in mind we couldnt even see it was incredible, that lasted about two laps and then be just sat down to watch the rest, gets a bit boring after the first few laps. The sun was extremely hot and i can safely say that it was the hottest i have ever been, every item of clothing dripping with sweat. There was even a riot to buy water as the stalls ran out for ages.

In the evenign we joined countless F1 fans in the bars around town. We drank at an irish bar while watching some of the cricket, painfully paying about 3 pound 50 for a pint. KL is very expensive compared to everywhere else we have been considering we have just come from Thailand paying 90p per pint! We met some Sheffield ladies and then proceeded to a club with some crazy Malays dancing like they were on speed to some funky techno style music.

The next day we went to a place called the Batu Caves a real tourist trap considering we took a bus for about an hour to see what was actually just one big opening in the rock just full of hindu temples and shrines and over touristed but still really shabby looking. Then onto the KL tower to view the city, great views and shots of the Petronas twin towers. Finally we headed to a bar near the Petronas towers to take advantage of the photo oportunities when it gets dark. Although trying to get the whole towers in is painfully difficult, i think ive got a good shot of it tho. Finally we headed to the chinese market where Joe and Rob bought high quality fake watches, firstly for 150 rinngit then im sure Joe got stiffed as the same watch was 60 rinngit at a stall further down. I just bought some knock off Billabong T-shirts as some of mine are bit on the manky side now.

Our last day in KL is spent visiting the shops below the Petronas towers and then heading up onto the skybride, where the bridge scene and most of the film Entrapment was staged.

Penang

From Langkawi we took another boat to the island of Penang, as old brithish colony.


First day we checked out the old fort called fort Cornwallis, which is a rebuilt english post. But has actually never been in a battle. Then headed to the shopping mall to try and find more cheap deals.

The evening was spent chatting to a german guy called Sasha who used to live in London and was now going to join us to visit Penang hill the next day.

After finally making it to the cable car at the bottom of Penang hill we took the 30min ride to the top. On arriving we were greeted by a man with a python, he was very persuasive in getting you to pose with it, he was very fond of said snake, kissing and cuddling it. It did not look dangerous so, we oblidged and posed with (affectionatly named Steve the Burmese Python) the snake. It was bloody heavy and quite coarse, and a little sketchy when it turns to look at you and then tightens a little around your arm, but no harm came.

Langkawi

We took a bus from Lanta to Trang, then a bus from Trang to Satun, a taxi from Satun to the pier and finally a boat to Langkawi!

We were now in Malaysia, first day we hired jet skiis and cruised around the ocean at breakneck speeds trying to dislodge oursleves to no avail. Then we mainly chilled on the beach until evening.

That evening we hit a place called big joe's run by a very large boltonian, and to say the least he's mental. He was informing us of how he had to leave the uk due to customs and police trouble and that he owned some large clubs in bolton, he was also very proud of his distate for manchunians, and we were with a ginger one, what could be worse! However he paraded us with free shots and then got us all singing on the kareoke, - Green = My Way, Rastrick = stairway to heaven, me = hotel california. Then a few further shouting renditions from joe and green. After signing some bricks in joes establishment and saying cheer'eo to litte big joe, his child who only played video games while we were there, we went to reggae house, to listen to a live reggae band and dance the night away. After being accosted by some crazy old dutch woman, and dragged onto the dance floor, me and green decided to retire a litte worse for wear, and feeling abused. Joe returned at around 6 in the morning, a little unknown of his whererabouts and how he got back... ladyboy!?!

The next day we hit the mangrove swamps for a guided tour. We checked out a fish farm, crocodile cave (no crocs), bat cave, (lots of bats), and finally saw sea eagles and monitor lizards, all while we were very hungover! The bat cave does not have a toilet!

Ko Lanta

Right its catchup time, we were on Ko Lanta about 5 days ago now but lets see what i remember.

Took the boat from Phi PHi in the morn. Arrived and were immediatley whisked off to sunny's guesthouse. I had a room to myself this time or so i thought, while rastrick and green shared.

We hired out some motorbikes and went exploring on the island. Continueing straight down the isalnd we stopped at numourous beaches and coves. As we neared the end of the island we ran out of pavement and hit the dirt road, sceptically we continued on. The first large dirt hill appeared and we were riding old manual bikes, which were notoriously hard to change gear. Green was first and only made itr up about half way i was someway behind and floored it only to get up a bit further while frantically trying to change back to first. Joseph sailed past while uncontrollably wheelying all the way up. After we learned to navigate every hill in first we continued on. This time we hit a proper dirt hill, ie. with dirt about 2 ft deep, we all again got stuck in the dirt while an old lady cruised past on the other side of the road, in about 1 inch of dirt. At this point i decided to hit the throttle full speed to get out of the mud but only anded up wedged head on into the side of the road in a ditch of dirt and dust about 5ft deep, to say my white t-shirt was ruined was an understatement. We escaped our dirt confines and made it towards the end of the island and stopped and a nice beach, however it the n decided to start to monsoon and we turned and ran before the dirt turned to mush and it would have been even trickier to return an the way back my t-shirt turned into more of a brown wet clingy mess. But i was still trying to look good in my fake aviators and flame bandana!! - miserably failing!

The evening was spent watching football however just before the second agme the whole island had a powercut and we had to get updates from a guys mobile phone - robert was not happy. (man u v blackburn)

On the return to our rooms i found i had been joined by a family of cockroaches and quite big ones, i began a personal vendetta against everyone, my flip flops have become lethal killers a total of six notches between them, im very proud. In the morning one dead cockroach had been massacred by ants and there was not much left of him, all the animals over here are viscious!

Phi Phi

We experienced the strangest journey to phi phi, via the sleeper boat from ko tao, to picture it just remember your history lessons and the sketchy drawings of the slave trade boats. 3 people to a double mattress with mattresses lined up both sides of the boat. A little odd to say the least.

We arrived in Phi Phi and stayed at a good place with a pool. Phi Phi is pretty much the idyllic island paradise, white sandy beaches and warm clear waters. Our first evening was spent at the sports bar trying to catch up on some sport.

The next day we headed to Maya Bay to see 'The Beach', which is suprisingly very nice even tho heavily touristed. The evening was spent on a boat out to see watching the sun set as we ate dinner. Then we headed to a few bars and tried to find the bar where they have a muay thai ring to see drunk people fight each other but no one fancied that night. I feel that a boxing ring is exactly what the lion is missing. Spice up those dreary fri nights and let all chavs get a kicking.

The following day we trekked up to the viewpoint overlooking the whole island, almost died trying to get there from heat exhaustion but was well worth it. We decided to take a very off piste route back through jungle, getting very paranoid about spiders and the like, we did manage to avoid the snake going up the tree right next to us, luckily we spotted it. The beach we reached at the end was deserted except for a resturant and a place to catch a longtail back to civilisation.

Last Day on Koh Tao

We have just finished our scuba course, we had an insane instructot called Jasper from Denmark.

Our first day involved a morning session of theory and an afternoon in the pool, leaning all the basics.

Then it was off to a dive site called Japanese Gardens to perform skills out in the open water and to then explore the dive site. Loads of colourful fish but this area is mainly known for its coral.

Next day involved two dives again to the japanese gardens but this time for a deeper dive and practicing skills at the bottom, like hovering using your lungs and swapping your air supply with you buddy etc.

Our final dive was the best to a place called Chom Phon Pinnacle, an underwater mountain, this dive was done to 18m and the lowest we were allowed to go. At this dive we saw the most fish inc. angle fish, barrcuda, trigger fish, and a stingray, but i think we all wanted to see whale sharks but its not really the right time of year to see them.

Our second and final dive was at a site called twins, this was our last lot of skills involving removing your mask at the bottom and then wearing sunglasses and dancing around like a fool for the cameraman filming you. We also paid a vist to some clownfish (nemo), hidden in an anemone in the middle of a big stone circle. We also have a copy of this video for all to see although its a bit embarrasing.

Th best bit of the vid has to be when they made us all somersault into the water of the side of the boat with all our gear on.

The afternoon was spent rowing around Buddha point to a place called shark bay, to hunt out some black tipped sharks, but again we didnt see any, rastrick did see a turtle though. I also got a nasty case of sunstroke and dont feel too grand today.

We leave for krabi and Koh Phi Phi tonight.

Ko Tao

We left Samui the next day as it was raining and the weather was poor. The island itself is also heavily touristy so we jumped on a boat and headed for Ko Tao, the smallest of the three islands that has a name for great divin

I did feel a little worse for wear after the boat ride but we were immediatly wipped off to a place called Buddha vew and signed up for the padi open water diver course, bye bye 150 quid, but should be worth it.

We also met up with Tash Jenkins and her friend, also doing the diving course.

Evening was spent on the beach decking near a large BBQ and right on the ocean doorstep.

Tommorrow we begin our course with theory in the morning and a pool session in the avo.

It already feels like im back at school!?!

Ko Samui

Flew down to Ko Samui on a twin propeller plane, quite a smooth ride, the airport itself consisted of a group of beach huts.

Booked into a cushy place way out of our budget but was for only one night, cable tv, minibar, pool, bar and beachside resturant.

In the evening we hitched a ride to Chaweng and to a few bars, dodging the attention of prostitutes along the way. However in one bar we were challenged by a couple of ladyboys to some games of connect 4, they are pretty good and its only when one of them walked out the blokes toilet that it dawned they had a little secret hidden under their skirts. It is extremely hard to tell whether these women/man are women or men!!

One aussie guy showed us a pic of him with a ladyboy back at his place, luckily he didnt do anything and found out just in time or so he says!

Ended the evening at a large open air club called the Green Mango, which was a good place aside the from the wafts of excrement you get every now and again from the open drains nearby.

Chiang Mai

We all instantly liked Chiang Mai, we visited a large temple at the top of one of the local hills/mountains and then chilled by the pool for the afternoon.

The only downside about Chiang Mai is that we are only staying one night due to the fact that everyone was telling us the crop burning was really bad up here, turns out its fine.

On the plus side we fly to the islands tomorrow for roughly 10 days of beach hopping!

2nd Day Lopburi

We trekked around the town for a while in prob the hottest temps so far on our trip, ended up seeing very simailr ruins and temples as before and only about 10 monkeys total.

The evening panned out more like (if you remember them) an Osbourne puzzle adventure trying to get to a place to eat while avioding all the dog packs and the especially agressive ones.

To be honest Lopburi was a bit of a blip on our trip that we should have avoided.

We took the sleeper train in the evening to Chiang Mai, the train was very comfortable and I think i slept most of the way, of the aprrox 12hr journey.

Lopburi

We arrived in Lopburi after a very crampt and hot 3rd class train journey, and decided to spent the rest of the day resting in an aircon room with a bit of rubbish tv.

We did however go to eat and as we'd all had far too much Thai cuisine, decided on a bit of western food, a KFC was just around the corner and after ordering a couple of chicken burgers about half an hour later Joseph needed to hurl his guts up, and officialy became the first person to be properly ill from eating over here.

It is typical that Rastrick is the one person who gets ill but not from eating Thai food but from eating home grown western fast food!?!

However he still managed to chow down some sweet and sour pork for dinner a few hours later, no more western food for him!

2nd Day Authaya

After my first full nights sleep since being here we decided to rent push bikes, sketchy little things with granny baskets.

We were off on a bike tour of more temples and ruins, although this time we had to contend with Thai traffic which is pretty much an uncertainty, who has right of way i dont know, but we escaped any scrapes apart from special needs rastrick who persisted to knock over his own bike and bash in his granny basket.

A few interesting things at the temples like a Buddhas head grown into a tree and some interesting shrines but too be honest we're pretty sick of temples right now.

In the evening we had some food and managed to watch the Man U V Bolton game at a neighbouring bar on ESPN, a welcome slice of westernism.

We are off to Lopburi tomorrow, apparently its completely overrun by monkeys but at least we have fellow jungle boy as a compatriot.

Authaya

After a long drive back from Kanchanaburi we had a short stopover and sleep then the next morn straight to the train station and off to a place called Authaya, 3rd class train, sticking hot and bumpy but prob only about 15p so kinda worth the money.

We booked into a place called the PU guest house and within 1hr were whisked off for a bout tour around the moated island to visit some more temples. (The Thais are relentless in getting money out of you) The best of the temples were large ruins that are very similar to the ruins at Ankhor Wat in Cambodia just not as big.

In the evening we chilled out with some food, however Rastrick decided to step on a cat and get bitten/licked/didnt even break the skin, however the paraniod android was speedily taken off to hospital on the back of a girls moped, and returned an hour later with no problems and they didnt even do anything at the hospital so all is well.

2nd Day Kanchanaburi

ok, so the second day of our trip to Kanchanaburi involved an intersting Elephant trek in the moring, I got to ride my elephant by myself, cos it ws just me and the handler, have to give it a good kick in the ear to change direction, real hairy and coarse buggers. Also wobbly on top.

Next we were driven off for a bamboo ride down the river Kwai, where we got a chance to get wet and cool off, prob with a dozen river snakes and stuff, but after all ignorance is bliss until you get bit.

Finally we went to a place called Erawan National Park to check out the 7 tiers of waterfalls and swim with some fishes who also enjoy biting you, but not too badly.
The top waterfall is a 1hr hike uphil and in 35 degree heat was pretty tough.

Finally we had a long bus journey back with a group of what looked like thai soldiers, prob heading to the capital due to increased bomb alerts from terrorists, luckily we head to Authaya in the morn.

Kanchanaburi

We have now left Bangkok and traveled in a VIP minibus for the 3 of us to Damoan Saduk (i think) floating market which was pretty cool, floating down past stalls of Thai souvenirs and mostly tacky stuff, the odd banana lady sailing past prob selling each banana for about 3p, I cant see how she makes a living to be honest.

Next stop was a handicraft center were workers create huge wall pieces and furniture from solid wood, some of them take over 9 months to carve by one guy.

Onto the bridge over the river kwai and war cemetery, not very interesting but has to be done due to the fame back home, it doesn't look much like it did in the film though.

The highlight of the day has to be when we visited a place called tiger temple, where a group of monks have taken in orphaned tigers and other animals and the tigers roam free with the monks and visitors, there was also a bear that rastrick got to go and personally meet, I just think Mowgli recognized Baloo and fancied catching up.

Currently we are staying in Kanchanaburi in a floating hut next to the river, Rastrick and Green are at the end of the pier bar drinking beers for 90p each and I think im going to join them now, tomorrows activities include Elephant trekking, bamboo rafting, and swimming in 7 tiers of waterfalls in Erawan national park, enjoy the UK!

2nd Day Bangkok

Needing an early start we staved off too many beers last night and headed for the cities main attractions.

Firstly we took the sky train to the river and a river ferry to the grand palace, While being hassled by Thais who think we are stupid enough to believe its closed so they can take us on a jewelery special deal tuk tuk package.

The grand palace is quite majestic and is covered in tiny colourful pieces, and the trees all around are poodled effectively every day. We also visited the reclining Buddha, a giant 45ft long gold Buddha lying down, its a little on the pointless side but if you can build it why not!?!

There was also a shrine completely made from gold leaf, the Thais defenitly like making things shiny.

In the evening we found a restaurant that is meant to be one of the best in Bangkok, the whole meal came to about 6 pounds, spot on!

Again we came across Boris in the evening, today he was sporting a womans shirt with a black bra underneath, again he was hogging the tv!

1st Day in Bangkok

After a heavy night we eventually made it out by about 2pm, we were going to hit the temples but decided we would have some retail therapy instead.

First stop off the monorail style sky train which flies over the gridlocked, polluted traffic in Bangkok was Siam Square for some very upmarket shops that were just as expensive as back home. One thing you notice in Bangkok is how smelly some of the streets can be the Square is very new and trendy but on your way there you will undoubtedly gag once or twice at the fish in 35 degree heat being prepared by street vendors.

Next stop was the MBK centre, an 8 floor heaven for shopaholics, we just hit one floor and a small market area with knockdown prices, a very similar pair of shorts i bought for 40 quid is prob only about 3 pounds here.

We had quiet evening but also first met our friendly neighbour who we named Boris the Pre-op, the first instance we spotted him wearing an all in one pink babies outfit for adults, and he hogs the tv dammit.

Touchdown and first night in Bangkok

Flight was not too bad, long and uncomfortable but ive had worse, good selection of films although i think i made a bad choice opting for Babel, def not a happy feel good film. As i watched we flew over Afghanistan and Kabul, rounding Mt Everest, but i cudnt see anything twas on the wrong side of the plane.

Already met some sound peeps, who took us under their wing and straight to the seediest and most lively part of Phrat pong, and what goes on at Phrat pong, Ping Pong. Out first beer outside the hostel was drunk while taking in the sights of 4 half naked thai girls. The whole show itself prob last over 2hrs, while your sat there being lynched of money. We didnt actually make it to the finally as we got bored to be honest, although the highlight or possibly not was seeing a woman pull a piece of string out of her gentalia with rather large pins attached to it, def not for the fainthearted. Oh and were pretty sure the coke bottle act was performed by a post op ladyboy, and not a very convinving one either. We finished the night at a good place playing live music, all the classics were performed very well by a thai 5 piece, one final prob of drinking in the red light district is the fact that any woman in the bar not of western origin is most prob gonna cost you, but if you into that then so be it.

The motto of Bangkok so far for most people is 'anything goes!'
Quote of night 'I dont mind watching but im not gonna give them any money!'

Curry and Tequila

Should start this blog off and hope that I can be bothered to continue it.

Quality going away meal last night, many Boonahs going round, im not looking forward to the evacuation of the curry at 30,000ft but it should provide ample entertainment for the patrons sitting near the toilet, and the next mile highers.

Lets all hope that Rastrick is alive today, as me and green left him at 1am still going strong, I think he'd probably forgotton he was going travelling, knowing how special he is.

Oh and a big thanks to nelly for introducing Tequila at the end of the night, had a very foul taste in my mouth this morn.

Anyways time to pack the rest of my stuff and go watch a bit of rugby before we hit the skies.